Picture this. You’re surrounded by the women in your life: your mother, grandmother, and future mother-in-law are all smiling at you as you unwrap a gift from a friend. To your dismay, it’s a dainty piece of lacy lingerie that you now have to show everyone.

With so many different pre-wedding events, it’s easy to get confused. While they seem similar on the surface, a bridal shower and bachelorette party are designed for different audiences.

We’re here to help clear things up to avoid these awkward situations.

Bridal shower

This is the tamer party of the two. Normally a brunch or high tea, it’s a lovely gathering with yummy treats, delicious drinks, and good old-fashioned bonding. Back in the day, this was the event at which the bride was presented with all the things she would need for her kitchens, such as crockery and tea towels. Hence it’s also known as the kitchen tea. Now that times have changed, you can present the bride with whatever you want – just make sure the gift is PG!

This is the event your gran and niece will attend and is also a good opportunity to spend some time with your mother-in-law, away from all the wedding chaos. Get some advice from the married women in your life, enjoy delicious finger sandwiches, and sip on some bubbly. There are also a great number of family-friendly games you can play to break the ice and help both sides of the family mix and mingle ahead of the big day.

Bachelorette party

When the cucumber sandwiches are finished and the sun goes down, it’s time to gather your girlfriends and paint the town red. Some brides opt to have the bridal shower and bachelorette party on the same day as all the people you’re having at your wedding are all in one place, but it’s really up to you.

The bachelorette party (or hen night) is a chance for you to let your hair down and have some fun with your friends. This is usually the place where the naughty gifts – think toys for the bedroom – and craziness appear. For lots of people, a bachelorette party is just that – a party. But it doesn’t have to be. You can indulge in a spa day, cocktails, dress up, dress down, it doesn’t matter. As long as you have fun.

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